Sharpie Blog

_________________________________________________________________

 

.

 

Some days are just “get-misted-with-your-own-spit-because-you-sneezed-into-your-car-air-conditioner-vent days”.

 

.

 

_________________________________________________________________

.

 

If Donald Trump can become President of the United States, I think it’s only fair I start encouraging our cat, Pippin, to pursue his dream of opening a rift in space-time with his method of frequently falling asleep in front of the laundry hamper.

.

 

__________________________________________________________________

.

If I were a dragon, my hoard would be tissue boxes.

.

___________________________________________________________________

.

I have a sinus infection, which sucks.

BUT, I’ve been naked for two whole days, which rocks.

.

___________________________________________________________________

.

Oh sure… When a girl sings in movies, it’s all opened window shutters and fuzzy woodland animals. When I do it, it’s all “get off my roof” and “public disturbance charges”.

.

___________________________________________________________________

.

I always carry holy water on my person, in case of stage parents.

.

____________________________________________________________________

Friend: it’s been 9 months since Dragon Age Inquisition came out.

me: …

Friend: as in…last year.

me: …

Friend: …maybe it’s time to move o–

me: NEVER

Friend: will you at least let me make my breakfast?

me: *continues to stare blearily at carton of eggs*

_______________________________________________________________________

Heard the Power Rangers theme song for the first time since 1996 today.

b3c85fd1cd4f8e2ba4ea1d53c3f3c716

Suddenly filled with the urge to get a cootie shot, play with a Skydancer, eat and/or choke on a fruit-by-the-foot, and write my name over and over on the street in sidewalk chalk.

__________________________________________________________________________

NEW MASS EFFECT GAME ANNOUNCED.

I REPEAT: NEW MASS EFFECT GAME ANNOUNCED.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

___________________________________________________________________________

I took off almost half my fingernail with a cheese-grater today.

Apologies; the comics I was planning to do today will consequently be delayed until a time when putting pressure on my first finger doesn’t feel like this

Pain-Face

Trying to be positive about the whole thing though. The boy has to do all the dishes, and the opportunity to use the “i’m typing with one hand” sentence has been a  jubilant  experience.

___________________________________________________________________________

So,

I open up Sharpie Sandbox’s Skyrim save for the first time since last week’s episode of drunken Skyrim, and immediately find myself in the most iconic state of “what on earth did I do last night??”

First of all, I’m trapped in Sheogorath’s mind with nothing but the Wabbajack and all the food from his table–likely a direct result of finding myself standing directly ON his table. The strangest part is I had finished the quest and had but to speak to him again in order to return to Solitude. My only guess is that drunk Sharpie Sandbox found it prudent to show her disdain for being dragged out of her own plane of existence by knocking all his silverware off the table…

Way to stick it to a Daedric prince drunk me.    A+

___________________________________________________________________________

Still slugging my way through Dragon Age Inquisition. Fantastic game. Wish I could play without doing that thing I always do with Bioware games…

ya’ll know that kind of anxiety I’m talking about…

I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I guess we’ve all been there…curled up in a sweaty armchair…eating Lucky Charms out of a mug…hoping to Andraste that Varric doesn’t disapprove when you hi-five Sera on the merits of Bianca’s tiny dwarven bum…

Yeah. It’s nice to know the human experience is so universal.

___________________________________________________________________________

You know when you’re visiting your family and that annoying gaming itch starts to chafe?

Next time, try drawing a HUD on your glasses or sunglasses. If that’s not enough, you can always try dyeing your drinks blue and red for a little extra kick!

Lifehack!

___________________________________________________________________________

Greetings!

I have been on vacation, but new comics are on their merry way. Thank you again for all the recent support and comments. I will continue to fill your lives with meaningless nerd drivel and white privileged humor delineation.

___________________________________________________________________________

Good Wednesday Everyone!

In preparation for my mind-blowing weekend, I am now fully embracing the unbridled power of the scheduled update. Please message me if anything seems out of place or goes awry.

In other news, I’ve recently received some criticism concerning the comic’s sudden turn towards a more inapropos vocabulary. I would like to take this opportunity to reassure all my fans that this sort of dick-weedery will be taken under serious consideration.

___________________________________________________________________________

DovahPeanut is back from hiatus!

Now that exams are over, I can once more concentrate on the things that truly matter: getting drunk and playing video games with the people I love, all while comfortable in the knowledge that I am not employed by anyone who cares enough to Google me…

tumblr_n3hwdbX7yI1rakka3o1_500

___________________________________________________________________________

Special thanks to everyone who have indulged me–and continue to do so–and my sweet gaming “skillz”. The successful launch of The Misadventures of DovahPeanut is a product of your patience. …And Bethesda Game Studios, by proxy.

Extra special thanks to Cameron and his patience.

Extra, extra special thanks to Pippin, without whom, I would never know the pleasure of leaving my desk to yank a cat out of the tangled interior of an old armchair. Over, and over again.

___________________________________________________________________________

And the award for Most Meaningless Charity Cause 2014 goes to…

…Sharpie Sandbox!

___________________________________________________________________________

Let’s play a game.

It’s a guessing game.

Guess who got laid off again.

It’s me!

You win!

___________________________________________________________________________

BACK IN BLACK

My LOVELY followers,

If you’re still with me, I’m happy to report that I’m back from hiatus and will soon be starting in on a brand-butt-spankin’-new comics. It’s a new day, folks. New university, new apartment, new friends, and new shenanigans!

Stay tuned this week!

Also coming this January, the new Sharpie mini-series spin-off: “Dovah-Peanut”–featuring the riveting adventures of all your favourite Sharpie characters in Bethesda’s Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

___________________________________________________________________________

Guess what I learned?!

Turns out, North American grandmothers gain a +7 saving throw against Will and Intimidate checks, a total defense against Diplomacy, a +10 boost to Strength, and the “Hurled Shopping Cart” feat at each level after reaching the December 20th field time frame…

___________________________________________________________________________

So,

I managed to set off the smoke detector in my house of five to eight room-mates this morning. No one was on my floor, so I dashed upstairs to make sure everyone knew there was nothing really wrong. In my panic, I managed to stub my toe twice and fall down the stairs a little (you’know, just enough to feel like a moron). The one room-mate who was home during my little mishap, stumbled out of his room, half asleep; and calm as a shaolin monk, poked the reset button with a broom before retreating back into his room (This was after slowly taking the broom from me, as I was hilariously too short to reach–EVEN WITH A BROOM).

I feel this raises three important questions of progressively increasing importance:

1. How many times does this sort of thing happen here?

2. What kind of hilarious hijinks ensue when there is no one tall around?

3. If I can inflict that many injuries upon myself in a benign critical situation, what does that mean for an ACTUAL emergency?

___________________________________________________________________________

So,

I guessed I should’ve read the contract more carefully when I signed on to writing science fiction…quantum mechanics is really not by bag, but it is annoyingly fascinating…

When you get to the point past the theoretical, and really start putting the pieces together (literally), the science to philosophy ratio is unbearably poetic.

It also makes me think twice about just how much thought I invest in things like “Movember”.

___________________________________________________________________________

Okay,

Laid off.  Sinus infection.  Tea shortage.  and to top everything off, I backed into a mint Audi with my mother-in-law’s van…

But y’know what? It’s all going to be okay.

Y’know why?

The boy changed his morning alarm tone to “I am the Doctor” by Murray Gold, and now I get to wake up to this everyday:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7VmOZ4Ppj8

WIN.

__________________________________________________________________________

how many publishing agents does it take to find me?

None.

___________________________________________________________________________

All you can eat sushi and Japanese/Thai food for $15.00 has been one of the best and worst things to ever happen to me.

Wow. If you didn’t get that I’m white and privileged from that sentence, I’m not trying hard enough.

___________________________________________________________________________

Question:  will you please publish me?

Answer:  yes. just please get that ridiculous cat off of my desk.     …and please stop calling us.

___________________________________________________________________________

new Minecraft mods…

Welp.. sorry Next Week, looks like I won’t be able to make it.

___________________________________________________________________________

Having a “girls night” tomorrow. Very excited.   The last time I had any girl time, was when I decided to use conditioner in the shower that one time. I messed it up.

___________________________________________________________________________

I’ve been getting a lot of questions this week about my use of sharpie markers in the comic.  Most of them are something like “how do you have the patience to draw a web comic  with just sharpies??”

I draw my strength from a combination of being Canadian (which makes me awesome), good sex, and tumblr.

___________________________________________________________________________

So, my cat, Pippin, has taken to humping legs.     I’m not even sure where to begin…

1. He is fixed

2. This is the first behaviour of its kind for him.  He’s six.

3. I’m pretty sure he’s not a dog, but..

___________________________________________________________________________

Having a cold is awful.

…so much snot.

all up in my grill.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s